Chapter 13

I walked all the way back to the hotel. I wish I knew who stole my goddamn gloves at Pencey - not that I would have done anything about it. I'm yellow like that. The more I thought about it, the more depressed I got. The whole lobby was empty and smelt like fifty million dead cigars. I was feeling sort of lousy. Depressed and all. I almost wished I was dead.
That's when I got in this big mess. The elevator guy asked me if innarested in having a good time. I asked him what he meant and said okay. I was feeling so depressed I didn’t even think.
I went up to my room and put on a clean shirt. I was a little nervous. If you want to know the truth, I’m a virgin. I really am. I’ve had a few opportunities,. But I’ve never got round to it yet. I figured this was my big chance, in a way.
When I opened the door to her I said, suave as hell, “How do you do.” She came in and chucked her coat on the bed right away. She seemed very nervous for a prostitute. Probably because she was young as hell. Around my age.
In the end I backed out of sleeping with her. It didn’t feel right. I told her I’d just had an operation on my clavichord. I thanked her and all and gave her the 5 dollar bill. She told me that it costs ten and I said Maurice said it was 5 for a throw. She sort of just shrugged her shoulders. She was a bit of a spooky kid. As she went she said “So long, crumb bum.”

Playlist

New York New York
A Thousand Miles
I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing
I will always love you
Sex bomb
I’ll be missing you
I’m in the mood for dancing
Somewhere else
Oxygen
The Pretender
Stop the clock
Three doors down
The great escape
Let it snow
I want to break free
Yellow
Sweet child of mine
Give me shelter

My Sonnet

She was the type of girl who knocked me out
I could trust her with anything, no doubt
You don’t horse around with a girl like her
The smile, the laugh, the perfect figure.

She always kept her kings on the back row
She was a safe player, I’ll have you know
The first time I saw her, I knew she was right
She ran through my head the rest of that night.

Stradlater thought of giving her the time
I knew Jane wouldn’t commit to that crime
I knew she was more sensible than that
And wouldn't give in to that selfish rat.

I haven't seen her in a while or so
Although I hope I do, we'll never know.

Chapter 12

New York's terrible when you hear someone laugh at night. You can hear it for miles. It makes you feel so lonesome and depressed. The driver of the cab struck up conversation, so I asked him if he knew where the ducks in the Central Park lagoon went in winter. He was a very impatient-type guy. He said "How the hell should I know a thing like that?" I told him not to get sore about it but he just argued that nobody was sore. I stopped having conversation with him if he was going to be so damn touchy about it. Then he started talking to me again saying that the fish don't go no place - they just stay right in the goddamn lake. But I wanted to know about the ducks. He just told me to use my goddamn head.
When we got to Ernie's and I got out of the cab, he brought the fish up again. He said, "If you was a fish, Mother Nature'd take care of you, wouldn't she? You don't think them fish just die when it gets to winter, do ya?" I said no and then he said "You're goddamn right they don't." And then drove off like a bat out of hell.
When I was in Ernie's this girl came up to me and said, "Holden Caulfield!" It was Lillian Simmons. She used to go around with my brother D.B for a while. She asked about him, and when I said he has in Hollywood you could tell she thought it was a very big deal.
She introduced me to this Navy guy who she was with. You could tell he didn't like her that much, even though he was dating her. I didn't like her much either. Nobody did. She invited me to go and join her but I just said that I was leaving and I had to meet someone. Once I said that I had no choice but to leave. I certainly wasn't going to sit down at a table her and the Navy guy and be bored to death. It made me mad though. People are always ruining things for you.

Chapter 11

I got old Jane Gallagher on the brain again on the way back to the lobby. I couldn't stop thinking about her and Stradlater in the back of Ed Banky's goddamn car. I was pretty sure Stradlater hadn't given her the time. I knew old Jane like a book. But I couldn't stop thinking about her.
She used to live in the house next door to ours. I saw her by the pool one day and went over and said hello. I hadn't conversed with her before or anything. After that, me and Jane got to be friends and all. She was a funny girl, old Jane. I wouldn't exactly discribe her as strictly beautiful. She knocked me out though.
I remember one afternoon when I was over at her house and we were in the porch. We were playing checkers. I used to kid her once in a while because she never took her kings off the back row. Anyway, all of a sudden, this booze hound her mother was married to came out and asked Jane if there were any cigarettes in the house. He had a lousy personality. Old Jane wouldn't answer him when he asked her. He asked her again but she didn't even look up from the game. The guy finally went back inside. Once he did, I asked Jane what the hell was going on. She wouldn't even answer me then. Then, all of a sudden, this tear plopped down onto a red square on the checkerboard. I went over and made her move onto the glider so that I could sit next to her. That's when she really started to cry. The next thing I knew, I was kissing her all over - anywhere - her eyes, her nose, her forehead and all - everywhere apart from her mouth. Anyway, that's the closest we ever got to necking. After that we went to a goddamn movie. I held hands with her the whole time. Most girls you hold hands with, their goddamn hand dies on you. But Jane was different.
Anyway, after I'd stopped thinking about Jane I still wasn't tired or anything. So I got a cab and told the driver to take me to Ernie's. It's a night club in Greenwich Village where my brother D.B used to go. He used to take me with him once in a while.

Chapter 10

It was still pretty early and the one thing I hate is going to bed when I'm not even tired. I decided that what I'd do was I'd go downstairs and see what the hell was going on in the Lavender Room. It was this nightclub in the hotel. While I was changing my shirt, I damn near gave my kid sister Phoebe a buzz, but I knew she wouldn't answer, and I didn't want to risk my goddamn parents finding out I was in New York. You should see her. You never saw a little kid so pretty and smart in your whole life. She has this sort of red hair, a little like Allie's was. She's only ten. She's so smart, she got all A's ever since she started school. You'd like her.
When I went down to the club I was sat next to these three girls around thirty or so. The whole three of them were pretty ugly, but one of them, the blonde one, she wasn't too bad. I started giving her the eye a bit, and later on I asked her to dance. I really felt like dancing. When I asked the three of them just started giggling like morons. Finally, the blonde one got up to dance with me. She was one of the best dancers I've ever danced with. I'm not kidding. I was about half in love with her when we sat down. By the end of the night I'd danced with them all. The whole three of them.
I left the Lavender Room not long after them. They were closing it up anyway.

Chapter 9

The first thing I did when I got off the train was I went into the phone booth. I felt like giving someone a buzz, but I couldn't think of anyone to call up. After about twenty minutes of thinking of something to call I came out of the booth. I went over to the tunnel where the cabs are and got a cab. After a while I asked the driver if he knew where the ducks in that lagoon near Central Park South went in winter. He turned around and looked at me like I was a goddamn madman.
He dropped me at Endmont Hotel. I'd put on my hunting cap on when I was in the cab. Just for the fun of it. But I took it off before I went to check in. I didn't know then that the goddamn hotel was full of perverts and morons. When I was in my room I went and looked out of the window and saw this gray-haired guy do something you wouldn't believe if I told you. He put his suitcase on the bed and took out all these women's clothes - then he started dressing up and goddamn walking around in them smoking a cigarette like a woman does.
Then, in another window, I saw a woman and a man squirting water out of their goddamn mouths at each other and laughing hysterically.
After a while I sat down and smoke a couple of cigarettes. I decided to ring a girl up whose number I got off Eddie Birdsell at a party last summer. She was the type of girl who didn't mind doing it once in a while. When she answered she didn't sound too friendly that I'd rang her up that late at night. I explained that I was a friend of Eddie's and then asked if she wanted to meet up for cocktails or something. She said it was too goddamn late but we could meet up tomorrow. I said that tonight was the only night I could meet up and then we hung up. I shouldn't have said that. Boy, I really fouled that up.

Chapter 8

When I got on the train I just sort of sat there and did nothing. I usually like riding on trains at night, with the lights on and the windows so black. All I did was take off my red hunting hat and put it in my pocket.
All of a sudden this lady got on and sat down right next to me. The whole car was practically empty, but she came and sat down next to me, instead of sitting in an empty seat. It turns out that her goddamn son goes to Pencey. Ernest Morrow - he was one of those type of people who after they'd had a shower would go around snapping his old wet towel at people's asses. When she asked what my name was I said "Rudolf Schmidt." I didn't feel like giving her my whole goddamn life history.
After we'd chatted about her goddamn son I asked her if she'd care for a cocktail. I was feeling in the mood for one myself. She said that she'd better not and that the club car was most probably closed. I'd forgotten all about what time it was. When he asked why I was going home early I told her all this crap about how I needed an operation because I had a small brain tumour. I couldn't stop lying. Once I get started I can go on for hours. No kidding. Once she was about to get off she wished me luck with my operation and all. She even invited my to visit Ernest in the summer, but I just thanked her and said that I was going to be away in South America with my grandmother. Which was really a hot one, because my grandmother hardly ever leaves the goddamn house. But I wouldn't visit that sonuvabitch Morrow for all the goddamn dough in the world - even if I was desperate.

Chapter 7

I knew damn well he was awake when I saw him lying in his bed. I finally found the switch to the light and turned it on. Old Ackley put his hands up so it wouldn't hurt his eyes. He asked what the hell happened to me when he saw the blood and all from where Stradlater hit me. He asked what the goddamn fight was about but I just said it was a long story. I never discussed my personal life with him. After a while I went over and looked out of the window. I felt so lonesome all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead. Ackley asked what the fight was about for about the goddamn fiftieth time. He certainly was a bore about that. I went over and laid down on Ely's bed. Boy did I feel lonesome. I just laid there and thought about Jane and all.
Once I'd left Ackley snoring in his bed, I decided that I was going to leave Pencey - right that same night and all. I mean, not wait till Wednesday or anything. I went back to my room and started to pack. It made me a little depressed because I had to pack these brand-new ice skated my mother had sent me a couple of days before. She bought me the wrong kind of skated though.
When I was ready to go, I took a last look down the goddamn corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on and then yelled at the top of my goddamn voice, "Sleep tight, ya morons!" I bet that woke every bastard on the floor. After that I got the hell out.